Pirate Animal Companions

Pirates had parrots because parrots were cool and exotic; a bird you'd never seen before, unlike any bird you'd ever seen before. They were unheard of back when Argentina was a land of myth and wonder. Now we're all very clear that it's a small nation with a struggling economy, and parrots no longer make sense as a symbol of world-travelling competence.


Instead, roll 1d4 for your pirate's familiar: 

1. Undead 'Raven': Actually a beloved parrot that died and was dredged from the River Styx, dyed black by its fell waters.

2. Lungsquid: Makes suction cup noises as it scuttles around. Curious, dextrous, squirts ink when upset or pleased.

3. Meme Creature: Does not actually exist until pointed out, after which time you can see it. No two observers agree on its precise location or appearance. Never takes any action that would conclusively prove its existence.

4. Miniature Space Ostrich: Small feathery ball with unusual configuration of eyes, tendency to vibrate, hover, rotate in midair. Can lift objects up to 5 lbs telekinetically. Hoards shiny things.


The meme creature seems like every familiar in every game I've ever played. 

Kushtun demonic weasel